then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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