I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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