so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
