I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
