i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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