I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
