You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize