If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
