Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
