it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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