Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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