i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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