if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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