I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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