I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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