absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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