did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
