everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
