yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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