I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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