Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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