We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
