they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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