just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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