Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
