She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
