Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
