Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize