Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He shit in the fireplace
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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