How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
