So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
