hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize