I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
