I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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