you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
