To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
