hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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