I cockslap morals
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
