david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
