id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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