I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
