Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
