just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize