Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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