how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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