I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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