Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm too high and old for this...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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