she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
