I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
