Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
