Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
