I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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