dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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