He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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