Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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