he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
