So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
