Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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