am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
