I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
