I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize