FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
