I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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