Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
