The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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