i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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