Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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