i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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