Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
