fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
