I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
