They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
