Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
