She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
