just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
porn star boner night. come get it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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