that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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