I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
