Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
