dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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