Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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