Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
