The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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