oh god the rape fog is back!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
