it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
