Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
