I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nut hugger
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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